funny christmas messages

• Christmas is one day when girls get to kiss boys to wish them without being called a slut!
  
• May Santa Claus bring you lots of gifts!
  May your home be filled with peace and bliss!
  May Jesus shower His abundant blessings on you!
  Here's wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Promising New Year!
  
• Dear Santa, I didn’t want to make it too hard for you this year, so, the only thing on my list this year is 1 year paid leave from work. with bonus
  
• I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
  
• Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
  
• Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
  
• Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
  What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day